RelationSHIP Goals

One day in class, our teacher Mr. Festus asked a question; has any of you entered a ship before? The whole class became mute then we heard a voice from the back Sir me! Sir me! It was Hulla; uh huh which ship? Mr. Festus asked? Sir relationship, Hulla responded. Get out of my class Mr. Festus angrily walked him out. The class was in a frenzy we couldn't hold it back I personally laughed so hard tears rolled down my cheeks. 

After many years, although that answer was humorous it gave me an idea. So am going to ask you the same question, have any of you entered a ship before? I am sure most people if not all responded in the negative. We establish relationships with many different types of people. Our family members, neighbors, co-workers, friends, spouses, significant others, etc. So one way or the other we have all entered into SHIPS, be it friendSHIP, courtSHIP, partnerSHIP, romantic or intimate relationSHIP, professional relationSHIP and even citizenSHIP. 

Ships just like relationships set out on a course or route to get to their destination. Other ships make it to their destinations others don't. The term “set and drift" is used to describe external forces that affect a boat or ship from following an intended course or getting to its destination. Relationships also have its "set and drift" and it's termed as problems. People encounter problems in their relationships that change the course that the ship is sailing on. Sometimes the relationship sinks, capsizes or just goes round and round and never make to dock. 

There are four basic types of relationships that I want us to look at; friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships and lastly professional relationships. A lot of times we invest so much time, money, effort and prayers into these types of relationships and it still hits a dead end or capsizes at sea. Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend still hurts you though you are loving or why your boss and colleagues at work always shun you or why that aunt or cousin despises you though you try so hard to make that relationship work or why your friends are hateful?  

I grew up on cartoons and comic books, my favorite was Superman and Captain Planet. These were my superheroes and I mimicked them, anytime Captain Planet saved earth or Superman saved someone the world will celebrate them with cheers. I love that idea. I wish the world worked that way outside the little box in our hall. I wish Superman and Lex Luthor would grab a bucket of KFC wings and let things go, I wish Messi would just admit that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better player than he is or Satan will just write a formal apology letter to Jesus to forgive him. And I have wished, prayed, worked, sweated, cried and tried relationships in my life to work that way too.  I wanted every issue in my life to be talk-out-able. I'm a "let's talk it out and fix it" try type of person so why?

Totally worn out, I asked God why He kept allowing family, loved ones and friends hurt me so much. I felt the Holy Spirit press the same question on my heart, why are you allowing this relationship hurt you so much? Then I got the answer " Here are six things which the Lord hates, and one more he despises with a passion: eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent, a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, a mouth that lies under oath, a trouble maker in the family (MSG) Proverbs 6:16-19 this passage wasn't "a stay away from verse" but we are wise to avoid close relationship with people who practice things that the Lord hates. So that relationships or ship that you are sailing or fighting for it to not sink please double check it maybe it's God saving you or keeping you away from them. These are the necessary red flags to protect you from unnecessary pains and hurts in your relationships. Pray to God to show you what needs to be held on to and what needs to go. You will have an incredible life if you are willing to let go and let God! 

Opinions and ideas are welcomed. Thanks for reading. 

MY CHURCH GIRL

Can I let you in on a secret?

I think I’m in love.

Yes, I think I’m in love with a CHURCH GIRL.

Some say love only finds those who position themselves to be found. Some say love only finds those who aren’t looking for it. Some say love is spontaneous. Some say love is a choice. I’m not sure what category I fall in but love knocked me down. 

I remember her so well, as she hurriedly walked to her seat because she was late for Sunday service. She wore an African printed Ankara with matching heels, her earrings and chain made of beads hanging from her earlobes and around her thin long neck respectively, her cute glossed lips hugging each other, her well-kept Afro that compliments her beautiful dark skin; she looked like an answered prayer. That was the first time my small naive Chinese looking eyes caught a glimpse of her.

I remember when we were both in foundation school and a question was asked about love. She answered the question with so much excitement I had to turn around to see who that was only to find out it was her. That was the first time I heard her speak and the first time she smiled at me. Her answer still lingers in my mind.

I remember when she couldn’t find her phone in a car we were both in, I asked for her number so I could call to know where the phone is. I saved her number and always checked her WhatsApp display image. I saved two or three of her pictures.

Oh yeah I remember when I deliberately sat close to her on a float.

I still remember when I called her to help me with our foundation school exams just to talk to her.

It was quite weird how we kept running into each other but it had to stop. I kept telling myself am not right for her. I was trouble and everything I get close to is either taken away from me or I mess it up. I didn’t want her to be taken away from me neither did I want to mess her up so I kept my distance as far as I could.

It was time for us to get baptized.  She called me up at dawn to know if we could together. I couldn’t say no so we met up. As I was immersed in the water and brought forth our eyes met she stood there with an angelic smile and the heavens opened and a bright light was upon her, then I heard a voice from heavens saying “This is my daughter whom I love and I am well pleased I give her to you” I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears. When I was about coming out of the water I felt a hand tapping me only to wake up and find out it was just a dream or it could be a vision I said to myself because it was actually the day for us to be baptized.

On our way home I suggested we get a drink to celebrate our ordination which she gave a nod to. We went to the restaurant got some drinks but honestly we were both not drinking. We were so involved in our conversation. We talked, talked and kept talking. I made her laugh so much she cried happy tears. Seconds turned into minutes then hours before we knew we had spent close to five hours together. It was getting late on our way she did the most crazy but beautiful thing ever she stopped by a building which had a lawn grass in front, lay on the grass and asked me to join her. I was shy at first but I joined her we lay there in the grass taking selfies. Am sure we made the moon and stars jealous that day. I will never forget that day and it was MY CHURCH GIRL that made it possible. I took her home, we hugged like it was the last time we were going to see each other.

We did not end our conversation there when we got to our homes the conversations continued. We spoke all through the night, at a point I was out of credit.  At 1 am I went out of the house to get airtime from our neighbors’ house who looked surprised to see me there at that time.

Love found me when I was tending to life’s responsibilities with no one else in mind. Now I am in love with her but she only sees me as a friend. I had never asked a girl to be my beloved. It was my first time. Should I write a letter?  Should I send her a love song probably she would understand, right?! I didn’t know what to do, then her friend called me asking me when I was going to make it official because My Church Girl was always talking about me.

Guess what! its official now. I’m in love with MY CHURCH GIRL and she loves me back.

In a few years to come we will walk down the aisle, we will take vows in the presence of our family and friends and we will raise our kids and present them to the Lord who made all things possible.

I love you.

MY CHURCH GIRL